Alchemist of the Month: Dr David Hamilton on The Joy of Actually Giving a F*ck
By Alexandra Wenman
As a golden London evening melted into night, I found myself at London Piccadilly’s Alternatives venue, nestled within the hallowed halls of St. James’s Church. I was there to attend a talk by Dr. David Hamilton, a renowned scientist turned kindness advocate, intriguingly titled "The Joy of Actually Giving a F*ck” – based on his latest book: ”The Joy of Actually Giving a F*ck: How Kindness Can Cure Stress and Make You Happy."
I had previously met David on other occasions through my work as editor of Prediction magazine, and it was lovely to reconnect – now as fellow authors – after about a decade had passed. David was his usual warm, friendly self and the evening provided me with so many wonderful reminders that I could carry with me into my daily life.
A Scientist’s Journey into Kindness
Dr. David Hamilton’s journey from a pharmaceutical scientist to a champion of kindness is nothing short of inspiring. As he took the stage, his approachable demeanour and infectious enthusiasm immediately set a warm tone. He began by sharing his personal story: a tale of transformation from a researcher in the field of drug development to an advocate for the science of kindness. This shift, he explained, was driven by his realisation that the greatest healing often comes not from drugs, but from the simple acts of kindness we extend to one another.
Dr. Hamilton also talked openly about losing his father, his journey into grief and the vital importance of remembering to be kind to ourselves – especially when if we ever slip up (we are all human, after all).
The Science Behind Kindness
What sets Dr. Hamilton apart is his ability to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. His talk was peppered with fascinating insights from scientific research that underscored why kindness is not just a moral imperative, but also a biological necessity.
He explained that acts of kindness trigger the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone." Oxytocin plays a crucial role in building social bonds and fostering feelings of trust and empathy. Additionally, it has been found to lower blood pressure and reduce the levels of free radicals and inflammation in the cardiovascular system. In essence, kindness can have a profound impact on our physical health.
Dr. Hamilton also touched upon the concept of "helpers’ high," a term coined to describe the euphoric sensation one experiences after performing a kind act. This is due to the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, which can create a feeling of elation similar to a mild morphine high.
But it wasn’t just the biological aspects that Dr. Hamilton delved into. He also highlighted numerous psychological benefits, such as increased happiness, reduced stress, and enhanced relationships. Studies have shown that people who engage in regular acts of kindness are generally happier and have lower levels of stress and anxiety. This is because kindness fosters a sense of community and belonging, which are fundamental human needs.
However, David explained that kindness can’t be faked. According to scientific studies, one does not get to experience the positive endorphins and hormones merely by pretending to be kind. So you really do have to be living from the heart in order to receive the health benefits of being kind.
Implementing Kindness in Daily Life
Offering compelling evidence, Dr. Hamilton provided several practical tips for incorporating more kindness into our daily routines. He emphasised the importance of starting small: a smile to a stranger, a compliment to a colleague, or a few minutes of active listening can go a long way.
He encouraged us to engage in "random acts of kindness," which are spontaneous, selfless acts that can brighten someone's day. These acts don’t have to be grand gestures; they can be as simple as buying a coffee for the person in line behind you or leaving a kind note for a coworker. The spontaneity and unexpected nature of these acts often amplify their positive effects, both on the giver and the receiver.
Another profound suggestion was to practice "gratitude kindness." This involves expressing gratitude towards those who have positively impacted your life. Dr. Hamilton shared a moving story about how writing a heartfelt letter of thanks to someone who had profoundly influenced him brought immense joy to both him and the recipient. The act of expressing gratitude not only strengthens the bond between individuals, but also reinforces positive emotions and wellbeing in both parties.
The Power of Metta Bhavna Meditation
As the evening drew to a close, Dr. Hamilton guided us through a simple Buddhist Metta Bhavna (Loving-Kindness) meditation. This ancient practice involves directing loving-kindness towards oneself and others, gradually expanding the circle to include all beings. Sitting in that serene space, surrounded by like-minded individuals, I felt a deep and renewed sense of peace and connection.
I have used this meditation in my own practice for many years and recorded a version of it for my YouTube channel some years ago, which I will share below…
Loving kindness meditation on “The Alexandra Wenman Show”…
The meditation begins with focusing on self-compassion, repeating phrases like "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I live with ease." This is followed by extending these wishes to loved ones, acquaintances, and even those with whom we had conflicts. Finally, we direct our loving-kindness to all beings everywhere, cultivating a boundless sense of compassion.
This practice, when done in such a large group setting inside St James’s Church, was incredibly moving and underscored the profound impact that kindness – both towards ourselves and others – can have on our mental and emotional wellbeing. As Dr. Hamilton explained, regular practice of Metta Bhavna meditation has been proven to rewire the brain, enhancing a person’s capacity for more empathy and compassion.
A Lasting Impact For All of Us
Leaving the venue, I felt an overwhelming sense of hope and empowerment. Dr. Hamilton’s talk had come at just the right time for me as a beautiful reminder of the scientific and spiritual dimensions of kindness, offering practical tools to incorporate more of it into our lives. The evening was a wonderful reminder that kindness is not just a virtue, but a vital component of our health and happiness.
In a world often dominated by stress and division, the message of kindness is more important than ever. By consciously choosing to give a f*ck, we can create ripples of positivity that extend far beyond ourselves, fostering a more compassionate and connected world.
Dr. David Hamilton’s talk was more than just an informative session; it was a call to action. Let’s all make a commitment to give a f*ck, to be kinder to ourselves and others and, in doing so, unlock the profound joy and healing that kindness brings.
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Dr David Hamilton has a PhD in organic chemistry and spent 4 years in the pharmaceutical industry, developing drugs for cardiovascular disease and cancer. Inspired by the placebo effect, he left the industry to write books and educate people on how they can harness their mind and emotions to improve their health.
He is now the author of 12 books, including, ‘The Little Book of Kindness’, ‘How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body’, ‘I Heart Me’, the Amazon bestseller, ‘The Five Side Effects of Kindness’ and 'How Woo-Woo Works'.
David is featured in the award-winning documentary, ‘HEAL’. He appears regularly in the media and was recently featured on Channel 4’s live show, ‘Sunday Brunch’, in the UK and ‘CBS Sunday Morning’ in the USA. David is the honorary scientific advisor for the charity 52-Lives, a charity that helps people through acts of kindness, and he is an advisor to the science board at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS).
For more information about Dr Hamilton, visit:
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